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Bufete Iglesias abogados Salamanca

GRAN VIA 28, 3º D SALAMANCA Salamanca 37001 ES

Bufete Iglesias


María Jesús Iglesias García

Iltre. Colegio Abogados de Salamanca.

Miembro de la Asociación Europea De Abogados

CITA POR EMAIL: [email protected]     ;  CITA TELEFONICA: 923219309

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Lograr un divorcio saludable

Posted on September 25, 2010 at 2:43 AM
DECÁLOGO DE UN DIVORCIO SALUDABLE
Publicado el 13 de Octubre de 2008
 
 
"La gran mayoría de los hijos de padres separados o divorciados no tiene una infancia feliz. Es más, la añoranza cuando llegan a jóvenes por haber perdido la oportunidad de disfrutar de sus primeros años continúa décadas después", puntualiza Reyes Vallejo Orellana, profesora de Psicología en la Universidad de Sevilla y autora de un estudio sobre este tema publicado en la Revista de la Asociación Española de Neuropsiquiatría.

Los padres pueden hacer mucho más de lo que imaginan por sus vástagos para ayudarles a sobrellevar los momentos más duros de la ruptura conyugal. Primero, entendiendo algunas de las posibles reacciones de los menores, que pueden variar en función de la edad.

"Los más sensibles son los preescolares y escolares, máxime si se valora que todavía carecen de los recursos cognitivos necesarios para comprender la nueva situación. Es frecuente encontrar reacciones iniciales de tristeza, miedo, inseguridad, confusión, depresión e, incluso, reacciones de violencia hacia uno de los progenitores", comenta a elmundo.es Reyes Vallejo.

También es bastante común "que se autoinculpen de la separación de sus padres o, en otros casos, fantaseen irracionalmente con la reconciliación de ambos", agrega.

Para disminuir el impacto del divorcio es "aconsejable hablar sobre las razones que han llevado a esta decisión en un lenguaje comprensible y sencillo; informarles de los cambios que se van a llevar a cabo en sus vidas y hacerles ver que la separación es de la pareja y, por tanto, el cariño que tienen a sus hijos no se va a ver afectado ni modificado", recomienda la psicóloga de Sevilla.

La Asociación Española de Pediatría de Atención Primaria 'prescribe' a los padres otras medidas que pueden ayudar a los hijos a enfrentarse y sobrellevar la ruptura conyugal.

· Hay que procurar, siempre que se pueda, no cambiar de domicilio o de colegio. Los niños deben mantener las relaciones con los amigos y la práctica rutinaria de sus actividades. Es importante que tengan facilidad para telefonear a ambos padres cuando lo necesiten.

· Los hermanos deben seguir viviendo juntos mientras sea posible. Ambos padres deberán confirmar a sus descendientes que les quieren igual que antes de la separación y demostrarles que la ruptura no obedece a problemas de relación con ellos. Para ello deben dedicarles todo el tiempo posible y proporcionarles cariño sin caer en la creación de malos hábitos (exceso de mimos).

· Todos los hijos deberán tener el mismo tiempo de acceso a ambos padres. Estos periodos deberán ser conocidos por toda la familia con antelación y, en lo posible, se deberá acudir a ellos con puntualidad.

· Los símbolos de afecto son muy importantes, más que los regalos. Trate de que tenga una imagen positiva de ambos padres. No admita que hable mal de alguno de los dos, y en caso de hacerlo responda señalando aspectos positivos. Piense que usted podrá tener algún día otra pareja, pero su hijo nunca podrá tener otros padres, por lo que no desacredite a su 'ex', ni desahogue sus frustraciones con sus vástagos.

· Hay que fomentar que los hijos expresen sus sentimientos, sus sufrimientos, sus dificultades y sus temores. Para disminuir la prolongación y la dureza de la transición a la nueva vida familiar, los padres deberían transmitir a los hijos que la separación es una situación definitiva e irreversible.

PATRICIA MATEY.
elmundo.es
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